The Crime Dog
Grace is at it again. The sweetest and yet most larcenegenic (I give this new word to the world for free) Irish Setter in this, or any solar system, has shown once again her near insane criminality.
This time she stole and ate 4 sticks of butter from a kitchen counter while her owner was eating Pad Thai Shrimp.
Grace we're back!
We walked right into the crime scene. Grace was standing over the shredded Land of Lakes butter box with the look of a dog that had just been caught drowning a sack of blind kittens in a pothole puddle. She immediately took off down the hall, in her guilty dog crouch, her butter distended belly dragging on the floor. The thought being, we presume, that a dog that is traveling 4 inches lower than she usually does just can't be seen by humans.
Normally we would have played the "where's that darn Grace game?" but the buyer of the butter was in no mood to pretend that the thieverous (free to the world) canine was not a felony fugitive.
Grace! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
I was the calmer head but I didn't prevail.
Look. She is probably sick as a dog (yuck yuck) and you know she knows she is bad...bad...bad..etc. Look how she's walking. I can hardly see her.
Grace go to your room!
Time passes. Graces head peeks around the corner, looking for forgiveness. She has forgiven herself. You can tell she has. She is standing straight up. Irish Setters always forgive themselves too soon.
Grace! Bad! Room!
More time passes.
Bad! Room! Grace!
This is getting confusing even to me... a fully brained human that never even bothers crouching when I have done wrong.
Room! Room! Room! Bad! Bad! Bad! Grace! Grace! Grace!
To make a longoreous (free) story short. Grace didn't eat the butter. She hid it. One stick in a shoe closet. Another in a clothes bin. The third stick under a child's bed and the fourth stick she left in plain sight in the living room less than six feet from where we had been sitting doing the Bad Grace Room chant. If that stick of butter had teeth it would have bitten us all. I'll never know why we didn't see it sitting there, and of course, no one will ever know why she tried so hard with three sticks and then just fell to pieces on stick four. Is it her lipstick writing on the mirror...
Catch me before I do it again.
This time she stole and ate 4 sticks of butter from a kitchen counter while her owner was eating Pad Thai Shrimp.
Grace we're back!
We walked right into the crime scene. Grace was standing over the shredded Land of Lakes butter box with the look of a dog that had just been caught drowning a sack of blind kittens in a pothole puddle. She immediately took off down the hall, in her guilty dog crouch, her butter distended belly dragging on the floor. The thought being, we presume, that a dog that is traveling 4 inches lower than she usually does just can't be seen by humans.
Normally we would have played the "where's that darn Grace game?" but the buyer of the butter was in no mood to pretend that the thieverous (free to the world) canine was not a felony fugitive.
Grace! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
I was the calmer head but I didn't prevail.
Look. She is probably sick as a dog (yuck yuck) and you know she knows she is bad...bad...bad..etc. Look how she's walking. I can hardly see her.
Grace go to your room!
Time passes. Graces head peeks around the corner, looking for forgiveness. She has forgiven herself. You can tell she has. She is standing straight up. Irish Setters always forgive themselves too soon.
Grace! Bad! Room!
More time passes.
Bad! Room! Grace!
This is getting confusing even to me... a fully brained human that never even bothers crouching when I have done wrong.
Room! Room! Room! Bad! Bad! Bad! Grace! Grace! Grace!
To make a longoreous (free) story short. Grace didn't eat the butter. She hid it. One stick in a shoe closet. Another in a clothes bin. The third stick under a child's bed and the fourth stick she left in plain sight in the living room less than six feet from where we had been sitting doing the Bad Grace Room chant. If that stick of butter had teeth it would have bitten us all. I'll never know why we didn't see it sitting there, and of course, no one will ever know why she tried so hard with three sticks and then just fell to pieces on stick four. Is it her lipstick writing on the mirror...
Catch me before I do it again.
posted by Exaggoman at 8:20 PM
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