Gracecapades
Grace is an Irish Setter. Grace , like all Irish Setters has two brain cells. One controls her running and the other controls her wagging. L, Grace's owner would insist there are at least 4 brain cells and she would list Grace's two tricks as proof. Grace will sometimes sit on command. And Grace will sometimes shake.
Say "Grace paw!" ten or twelve times and there is a chance that one of her legs might tilt up a little towards your hand....might. I tell L. that sitting is just what happens when the run brain cell is resting and shaking is just the front end version of wagging.
Two cells.
Or at least that's what I thought until this Christmas. It turns out that Grace is one of those rare Setters that have at least six brain cells stretched out and mostly sleeping on that chaise lounge chair in that dark room. There is some proof.
Gracecapade #1
L. has a child that she likes to call Emily. (Yes that Emily) And Emily goes to a school that has a cookie exchange every Christmas. 48 cookies are baked by each Mother. 48 cookies are taken to school by the child and 48 cookies different cookies are brought home. L had no good plan for the 48 cookies and rather then deal with it after a long day of work she put the cookies on a table in a spare room and forgot all about them. The next day in a deserted house Grace's extra brain cells slowly started to tick and hum. One brain cell said to no one in particular "that table is not very high" and since she was all alone, which is almost as good as not being alone, the "wag" cell started to fire. And then that tiny cell over in the corner that never seemed to think anything bubbled to life and started to chant "cookie...cookie...cookie!" Excited by all the activity the Run cell kicked into gear. And before you know it Grace was running in circles, around the cookie table, in the spare room, tail wagging, barking cookie...cookie...cookie to an empty house. And that is how L would have found Grace when she got home from work eight hours later. Running in circles around the table and barking...if not for that nasty little cell sitting in the corner holding the megaphone shouting to no one in particular. "Steal!"
No one knows how long Grace ignored that nasty little creature. I'd like to think she circled the table for hours before the voice became too loud and Grace stood up on her back legs, sniffed about a bit and grabbed a six-pack of cookies for her very own. Grace tore open the baggie and for unknown reasons ate only one cookie. Perhaps she was so startled by the sudden appearance of the "BAD GRACE" brain cell that she lost her appetite. We will never know for sure. We can only guess that after the cookie was eaten the run...wag...cookie... brain cells fell silent. And this is when the Universal Dog Brain Cell I like to call "Cover Up" kicked into gear. Even Irish Setters have one...a small one.
Grace took the five remaining cookies and hid them in five different rooms in the house. Why is it that Australian Sheep dogs can recognize 103 specific commands and an Irish Setter will hide a stolen cookie 10 inches in front of the only toilet in the house? Why ask why.
This is L. speaking. "Bad Grace... I see you there. Standing very still does not allow you to blend into the refrigerator."
But who can be mad at Grace? By the time Emily had found the fifth cookie everyone was laughing and the wag cell was sucking for air.
Gracecapade #2
On December 29 Grace walked into the living room as everyone was watching television and dropped a stolen Christmas dinner roll at her feet. She stood there over the stale roll with her head held high and her tail wagging. Proof of a "confess" brain cell? Or did she think it was a tennis ball? You decide.
Say "Grace paw!" ten or twelve times and there is a chance that one of her legs might tilt up a little towards your hand....might. I tell L. that sitting is just what happens when the run brain cell is resting and shaking is just the front end version of wagging.
Two cells.
Or at least that's what I thought until this Christmas. It turns out that Grace is one of those rare Setters that have at least six brain cells stretched out and mostly sleeping on that chaise lounge chair in that dark room. There is some proof.
Gracecapade #1
L. has a child that she likes to call Emily. (Yes that Emily) And Emily goes to a school that has a cookie exchange every Christmas. 48 cookies are baked by each Mother. 48 cookies are taken to school by the child and 48 cookies different cookies are brought home. L had no good plan for the 48 cookies and rather then deal with it after a long day of work she put the cookies on a table in a spare room and forgot all about them. The next day in a deserted house Grace's extra brain cells slowly started to tick and hum. One brain cell said to no one in particular "that table is not very high" and since she was all alone, which is almost as good as not being alone, the "wag" cell started to fire. And then that tiny cell over in the corner that never seemed to think anything bubbled to life and started to chant "cookie...cookie...cookie!" Excited by all the activity the Run cell kicked into gear. And before you know it Grace was running in circles, around the cookie table, in the spare room, tail wagging, barking cookie...cookie...cookie to an empty house. And that is how L would have found Grace when she got home from work eight hours later. Running in circles around the table and barking...if not for that nasty little cell sitting in the corner holding the megaphone shouting to no one in particular. "Steal!"
No one knows how long Grace ignored that nasty little creature. I'd like to think she circled the table for hours before the voice became too loud and Grace stood up on her back legs, sniffed about a bit and grabbed a six-pack of cookies for her very own. Grace tore open the baggie and for unknown reasons ate only one cookie. Perhaps she was so startled by the sudden appearance of the "BAD GRACE" brain cell that she lost her appetite. We will never know for sure. We can only guess that after the cookie was eaten the run...wag...cookie... brain cells fell silent. And this is when the Universal Dog Brain Cell I like to call "Cover Up" kicked into gear. Even Irish Setters have one...a small one.
Grace took the five remaining cookies and hid them in five different rooms in the house. Why is it that Australian Sheep dogs can recognize 103 specific commands and an Irish Setter will hide a stolen cookie 10 inches in front of the only toilet in the house? Why ask why.
This is L. speaking. "Bad Grace... I see you there. Standing very still does not allow you to blend into the refrigerator."
But who can be mad at Grace? By the time Emily had found the fifth cookie everyone was laughing and the wag cell was sucking for air.
Gracecapade #2
On December 29 Grace walked into the living room as everyone was watching television and dropped a stolen Christmas dinner roll at her feet. She stood there over the stale roll with her head held high and her tail wagging. Proof of a "confess" brain cell? Or did she think it was a tennis ball? You decide.
posted by Exaggoman at 6:27 PM
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