I BEEP YOU!
Resolutions made. Two Resolutions broken. Two
How I ever thought I could not beep at the rest of the world as they drive across this pot-holed Planet in a careless, scabrous and sometimes evil fashion is beyond me. I am a Beeper. I might be THE BEEPER.
Can you see me sitting in my parked car around 2:13 in the morning January 1, 2006? Can you see how I touch the outside of the steering wheel as if it is a loaded bear trap? Can you see the sweat on my forehead? And the trembling? Can you see as I can, that that blue car parked in front of me is dreaming about making a left turn without signaling? Can you blame me for beeping like an abandoned lamb up to the Godless Heavens? No you can't.
As I sat there beeping, barely two hours into the New Year, strangling my newborn resolution, I thought to myself how much I had missed the beeping in those dark hours. (It was dark after all.)
And I resolved then and there to never quit beeping. In fact, I shall beep with a righteous vengeance and a childish glee. I see you in that other lane lipsticking as you dial...smoking as you chew. I see that look in your eye. I BEEP YOU!
And I resolve to never beep less than thirty seconds. Anything less is a friendly hello.
I shall beep on deserted roads and hope that the beep lingers like the smell of a squashed skunk reminding you as you drive by hours later that I am watching you and I know you are steering with one knee.
I can't really talk about that second broken resolution. I can tell you that I didn't break it in the car and that my eyesight is holding up just fine.
Alright...so I can barely see see the front of my hood and my hairy palm makes it hard for me to grip the steering wheel...I am still a better driver than you.
I SEE YOU!
I BEEP YOU!
How I ever thought I could not beep at the rest of the world as they drive across this pot-holed Planet in a careless, scabrous and sometimes evil fashion is beyond me. I am a Beeper. I might be THE BEEPER.
Can you see me sitting in my parked car around 2:13 in the morning January 1, 2006? Can you see how I touch the outside of the steering wheel as if it is a loaded bear trap? Can you see the sweat on my forehead? And the trembling? Can you see as I can, that that blue car parked in front of me is dreaming about making a left turn without signaling? Can you blame me for beeping like an abandoned lamb up to the Godless Heavens? No you can't.
As I sat there beeping, barely two hours into the New Year, strangling my newborn resolution, I thought to myself how much I had missed the beeping in those dark hours. (It was dark after all.)
And I resolved then and there to never quit beeping. In fact, I shall beep with a righteous vengeance and a childish glee. I see you in that other lane lipsticking as you dial...smoking as you chew. I see that look in your eye. I BEEP YOU!
And I resolve to never beep less than thirty seconds. Anything less is a friendly hello.
I shall beep on deserted roads and hope that the beep lingers like the smell of a squashed skunk reminding you as you drive by hours later that I am watching you and I know you are steering with one knee.
I can't really talk about that second broken resolution. I can tell you that I didn't break it in the car and that my eyesight is holding up just fine.
Alright...so I can barely see see the front of my hood and my hairy palm makes it hard for me to grip the steering wheel...I am still a better driver than you.
I SEE YOU!
I BEEP YOU!
posted by Exaggoman at 7:46 PM
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