Blackberry Blues

The very, very, very, best reason to climb Mount Everest these days is to throw your Nextel Blackberry cell phone off the top. It is a well known fact that Sir Edmund Hillary climbed it first in 1950 with a bee-stung scowl on his face to get rid of a smoky toaster that only seemed to bother his bread. In fact, if you look closely at those famous photos you can see the "bloody thing" strapped to his oxygen tank. Of course the British government hushed it all up and paid the family of that poor toaster-dented Sherpa a small fortune in Yak butter to play dumb. But we know better...well I know better.

But I digress.

The fall climbing season has begun in Nepal and I am sure most of the climbing this year is being done to launch Blackberrys. To me the clearest evidence that the Human Race needs to be wiped off the face of the Earth with Extreme Prejudice is that one of us (was it you?) designed this hated Nextel cell phone. To put it bluntly it is not possible to successfully answer a Blackberry cell phone more than 38 per cent of the time. The button you push to accept a call on the N.B. is actually not a button at all but a rotating dial. And if you are one molecule to the left or right of perpendicular when you push this dial the call dies on the Cosmic-Call Vine...unpicked and rotten.

The damn thing is ringing now. I'm not even going to try to answer.
If it's "You" calling to confess that the dial was your idea don't bother. I'll be in the kitchen firing off my sixteen slice, 4 on the floor, I can see myself toaster. Than God something works right on this dumpy planet.

But I digress.